Satire: Top 4 street foods seen around Cleveland

By: Connor Mahon

Street food is an important part of any city’s culture, and we are very proud to report Cleveland is no exception! We collected some of the best street foods we’ve spotted on or near Cleveland State University’s campus, and while we don’t expect these items to return anytime soon, we’re happy to share what an eclectic and interesting food scene Cleveland has to offer!

4) Fresca

This discarded can of Fresca was spotted on the steps of Trinity Cathedral, no doubt having provided some awesome refreshment to its owner. Speaking of awesome refreshments, check out our article on the state of Lemon Lime soda at CSU.

Lonely can of Fresca, By: Jake Wrege

3) Baby Carrots

This healthy midnight snack was spotted near the curb on Euclid Avenue, right by our residence halls. We are so happy to see our residents making healthy food choices. Keep up the good work, students!

A full bag of carrots displayed on Euclid Ave, By: Connor Mahon

 

2) Sealed Uber Eats

This abandoned Uber Eats order contained a burger and fries from The Fairmount. This delicious meal would’ve cost $15 dollars before those hefty delivery fees but remained unappreciated. It was found sealed on the steps of the Administration Building at 1 am.

Uber Eats order left in perfect condition, By: Connor Mahon

1) Spaghetti and Meatball

This one goes out to our commuters! If you take the Cleveland State Line, you’ll recognize this bus stop in front of Lucky’s Market on Clifton. The pile of spaghetti and single meatball remained there for over a week, raising serious questions about what I’m putting into my body, and why it’s not good enough for animals to scavenge. 

Perfect pile of spaghetti and a meatball on top on Clifton Ave, By: Connor Mahon

Honorable Mention: Rotisserie Chicken

Unfortunately, no pictures were taken, but observant attendees of Ingenuity Fest 2019 may remember the whole rotisserie chicken on the street near the entrance to the artistic showcase event, which I personally confused for art. Where do we draw the line between art and cooking, anyway?

(*Satire: “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues,” Oxford dictionary states. In this case a play on street food)

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